So I was about to watch this video because it's not only from a TV series that I've loved since I was 10, but also to help research for a headcanon about pegasi: www.youtube.com/watch?v=GywVDg…
But then decided that maybe I shouldn't, because the video is about a plane crash, and I'm going on a plane to America tomorrow, so watching the video would just re-consolidate what I already know about the many ways a plane can kill me. Even though on deviantArt I mostly upload stuff related to anime, video games and MLP, I'm still a complete aviation geek and have been for most of my life. I wasn't too keen on being open about this in my earlier days on this website because I thought uploading journals and art about two completely different things (anime/fandoms and aviation) would make me loose watchers. Except now I think I was being an idiot for making that decision. Also, for the last 6 months (probably more) I put myself in a state of "stay far away from airplanes", in which I distance myself from aviation as much as I can, because I honestly felt like I'd had enough and wanted to turn over a new, airplane-less page in my life. I did this because I found out that I'd never be a pilot, or get a job in the aviation industry and it temporarily destroyed me.
It was worse when I was 14 when the single thought of not having a future in aviation would trigger a panic attack. I remember back then I was watching an anime called '801 T.T.S Airbats', which is about the Blue Impulse display team, and when getting to the final episode I just got roughly 30 seconds in before thinking nope
. Can't do this
. Even though I'm over it, things about flight can still make me feel panicky by reminding me of the misery I was facing those few years ago, that's why I can't watch certain episodes of My Little Pony.
But I was able to get over this re-adjustment of life goals and passions thanks to animation. It still wasn't an easy adjustment, one of my flaws is I can find it hard to change plans. I think if I'd spent as much time animating as I did researching airplanes, I'd probably be 3 (maybe even more) times the animator I am right now. But making animations, and those friends that helped me make them and supported them has saved my life from slipping into a black hole of depression, anxiety, loneliness and shitty exam grades. So, thanks to those people. (You know who you are.
But because that time of re-thinking my life wasn't nearly as painful as it could have been, maybe it would be okay to start leisurely reading about aircraft again. Expect me to upload more journals about them and maybe artwork.
Oh, and since I'm going on holiday to California tomorrow I'll probably be inactive for most of the time I'm there, which is 10 days. I might be able to get some internet in a Starbucks or something, but it's mostly bye bye from me until I'm back!
It's gonna be my first time in the United States since I was 7, and I'll be spending the majority of tomorrow sat on my butt swearing at my PS Vita because I keep getting killed on Hotline Miami while my brother asks if we're nearly there yet. But, hey, we're likely to get to go on a Boeing 777-300 which is one of my FAVOURITE planes!
Stay safe. I love you all!